For Floyd

I was thinking last night about Maude R.
and all her struggles...and many deathbed scenes.
She was in a great panic for some time, calling
everyone to her bedside. She very nearly died
a couple of times. And then one morning, she
woke up calm. I wrote this poem about that.
Maybe Floyd would like it.

BURNING WITH A SPIRITUAL FIRE

I thought at first
that I was different
because of the long,
near-death spell,
feeling changed
by her struggle
and wnderful
human courage,
myself somehow touched.

She acted normal.
Knitted booties,
visited the same as usual
except...
The fear was not there.
Her calm was so deep.

I watched her, fascinated.
Her valiant struggle to
again get up and walk.
I shared my excitement of
swimming a mile at forty,
comparing it to her coming
from death to walk.
Laughing, I teased her
coming back from the dead.

"Ann, I cant walk.
I'm better, but I can't get up.
I can't put that burden on
you and Rhoda. I feel myself slip
and I know this is the way
to help you.
I won't come home again,
except for a day."
She said it calmly, without panic.
Again there was this feeling.

She was on a mission, maybe that's it.
She was a missionarey in the nursing home.
What is it about her?
She has moved beyond.
Did Death singe her? Is it death?
No...the thought hit me.
Moses in the Ten Commandments
was singed with a spiritual fire.
Had Maude come from death
burned with a spiritual fire?
The thought was ridiculous.
I brushed it away.

Every day it returned, persisted.
She had been touched.
She had become in her fight
with death, a spiritual person.
I don't know that she knew it.
I don't know that I understand it.
For the first time, I had insite
the Red Sea actually did open and
people walked across the bottom
on dry land.
Jesus Christ did on water
and raise the dead.
Men have been changed to
living spirits in a twinkling
of an eye.

The spirit of this woman
that I knew so well had changed.
I saw it every day. She was herself,
somehow brighter, deeper.
Mrs. Dewey saw it in her courage.
Thella struggled to tell her how
her attitude about being
in the nursing home had changed
them both.
Thella said, "You're more perfect now."

There was a miracle in her,
a lack of fear, more wise,
more caring. She changed
from one state to another
and that was marvelous in itself.

Marge, you can print it off if you want.
I don't know if you remember my poetry book
about Maude Living With The Grim Reaper.
The deathbed scenes are there as well as this
on is there. I found this poem
the middle of the night, thinking it might
help Floyd.